Make me a centaur in this endless, empty void!
Art by the awesome Iguana Mouth
Scared Curly Haired Dude - Me
Chill Dragon Girl - Jay
real tears are coming out of my eyes
I’ve seen a few fashion posts trying to expand the “Marie Antoinette is not Victorian” rant, but this stuff can get complicated, so here is a semi-comprehensive list so everyone knows exactly when all of these eras were.
Please note that this is very basic and that there are sometimes subcategories (especially in the 17th century, Jacobean, Restoration, etc)
And people wonder WHY I complain about History/Art History periodization. Note how much overlap there is to the above “eras”, and how many exceptions and extensions there are to these categories.
Oh, and by the way…
Because you wouldn’t want to be historically inaccurate.
ALRIGHT MOTHERFUCKERS, TIME FOR SOME LEARNIN SO SIT OUR BITCH ASS DOWN AND GET OUT OUR NOTEPAD
THIS SHIT RIGHT HERE IS SUGAR SCRUB. YEAH I KNOW YOUVE SEEN IT BEFORE BUT YOU DONT KNOW WHAT I KNOW AND THAT WHEN YOU USE IT WITH ONE OF THESE FUCKERS
YOU WILL GET LEGS AND ARMS AND ANY OTHER SHIT YOU WANT THAT IS SO SOFT YOU WILL BE SHOVING IT IN THE FACE OF EVERYONE YOU KNOW AND ASKING THEM TO COMPARE IT TO THE TENDER PINK FLESH OF A NEWBORN
SO GET YOURSELF SOME FUCKING WHITE SUGAR AND SOME CHEAP ASS OIL LIKE CANOLA OR SOME SHIT AND MIX THAT SHIT WITH TWO PARTS SUGAR AND ONE PART OIL( THAT MEANS TWICE AS MUCH SUGAR AS OIL BITCHES I USUALLY USE ONE CUP OF SUGAR AND DO SOME FUCKING MATH TO FIGURE OUT HOW MUCH OIL THAT IS) DROP A FEW DROPS OF VANILLA ESSENCE OR MAYBE SOME FUCKING LAVENDER OIL WHATEVER YOU WANNA SMELL LIKE. MIX IT UP REALLY GOOD MMMM SMELLS LIKE CAKE BATTER FUCK YEAH.
NOW GET YOURSELF GOOD AND NAKED. REAL NAKED. PAMPER YOUR GODDESS-LIKE ASS WITH A BUBBLE BATH. TAKE ONE OF THOSE RAZORS YOU GOT AND SHAVE WHATEVER YOU LIKE TO SHAVE LEGS ARMS VAJAYJAY PITS I DONT FUCKING CARE.
NOW GET OUT OF THAT GROSS HAIRY DIRT WATER AND SIT ON THE EDGE OF THAT THERE BATHTUB. TAKE A HANDFUL OF THAT SWEET GOOP AND RUB IT ALL OVER THAT SKIN OF YOURS(just dont use this stuff on or near your lady bits i put this in lower case because it is really important your love cavern does not like sugar uh uh no way its diabetic) RUB RUB RUB KEEP RUBBIN YEAH YOUR HANDS STARTING TO FEEL WEIRD GOOD BECAUSE ITS WORKING
NOW TAKE THAT CHEAP-ASS DISPOSABLE RAZOR YOU HAVE AND SHAVE OFF THAT NASTY-ASS DEAD SKIN EWW ITS SO GROSS NO ITS NOT ITS YOUR OWN SKIN BUT ITS ALL GREY. RINSE OF THAT OILY STUFF BECAUSE YOUR SKIN AINT NO SLIP-N-SLIDE
GOOD NOW FEEL YOUR NEWFOUND SOFT SKIN THAT WAS ONCE BURIED UNDER LAYERS OF DEAD FLAKES OF YOUR PAST SELF YOUR WELCOME MOTHERFUCKERS CLASS DISMISSED
IVE BEEN LOOKING FOR THIS POST FOR AGES
thanks for the tip karkat
Having trouble coming up with your own post-apocalyptic hero(ine)? Try out this generator! I tried to include options that would help with building both the character and their world. I’d love to check out what you make with this generator if you wanna tag it “characterdesigninspiration”!
To Play: click and drag each gif or take a screenshot of the whole thing.
Crap I accidentally had this in the wrong blog’s drafts. Here’s the newest generator though!
whenever you’re in a situation where you need motivation just whisper “give ‘em the old razzle dazzle” to yourself and proceed to give ‘em the old razzle dazzle.
ever wondered how to put pattern effects on stuff? this is how i do them. :P (using paint tool SAI)
*other colors will change the color of your shape. tip: brownish patterns will give your shape an antique/vintage/old effect. orz i fail at explaining haha
lol i love the overlay effect! :D i hope this helped! :3
When hot people actually think you’re attractive
THIS IS GLORIOUS.
ok but who thought of vodka pie crust
effleague, you should learn from dis.
I’VE BEEN LOOKING FOR THIS POST FOR AT LEAST A YEAR
FUCK FRIDAY THE 13TH BEING CALLED ‘UNLUCKY’
The leg up at the end tho.
I like the coach, putting his hands on his knees like, “Welp, that wasn’t it.”
i was almost like “oh man that sucks” and then her leg popped and i fucking lost it
That leg is killing me
Boxer crabs are badass because they pick up
handfulsclawfuls of stinging sea anemones and use them as weapons.
I thought that was a cheerleader crab
Waitaminutewaitaminute- what you’re telling me is that when that crab gets threatened, it picks up another organism laying nearby/minding it’s own business and then proceeds to use said innocent bystander to beat up whatever was threatening it?
someone please find a picture of this crab and put “I’ll beat a motherfucker with another mother fucker” on it in captions. Do it please I am not good with edits.
I am now singing “I will beat a motherfucker with another motherfucker” to the tune of Llama Llama Duck.
I will beat a motherfucker
with another motherfucker
'til the motherfucker fucking fucked the motherfuck.
Do not fuck with motherfuckers,
Who have other motherfuckers, with to fuck you back.
I once saw a spider
He was not a dove.
using other creatures like some fucking pompom gloves.
He looked very pleased.
And with spider friends like that
Who needs anemones?
Did you see that motherfucker punch a fucker with a fucker?
I will beat a motherfucker
with a motherfuck.
Once a motherfucker fucked with
twice the motherfucker and he
found the motherfucker was a motherfucking… duck.
By Popular Demand:
Oh sweet Jesus, I laughed so hard I had a coughing fit. omg.
FOR THE LOVE OF GOD CLICK THE TINY GRAY BOX, SOME GUY WITH A FETCHING ACCENT ACTUALLY SANG IT
That is “I Am The Very Model Of A Motherfucking General” level singing.